This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target.
My girlfriend told me that her fiancé constantly asks her “what does God say about you?
” when she is feeling low about herself, initiating a study on Psalm 139 as a couple.
I always said I wouldn’t date non-Christians, but he caught me when I was slipping in my faith due to problems with my mum’s mental health.“Don’t date an unbeliever.” Preachers at church, trusted friends and mentors would tell me this daily, but my limbic brain would override my pre-frontal cortex, and off I sped in the Ferrari of romantic recklessness right into the arms of Mr A, B, C, D and finally, Mr E – the While I harp on all the time about starting with a strong friendship, advocating a slow pace at the beginning of meeting new singles, Mr E was the epitome of slow-build trust, which resulted in slow-burn care and genuine, informed interest about the other.Our platonic friendship was comfortable for 12 months, where I would go to speaking conferences with him in no make-up, glasses and sometimes even my pyjama bottoms.Within the circle of his arms we discussed our desires for a committed relationship, our expectations and dreams: What do you think?My own faith and beliefs in Christ simply won’t let me comfortably be a part of a non-Christian relationship. Deep down I know I want to be with a man that understands me, my faith, and shares the same hopes and beliefs for the world and life that were brought to his heart by that first acquaintance with Jesus. A couple I know waited a number of years to marry, and with two adopted kids later they still act like infatuated teenagers well into their 70s.Many want to know how they can go about getting to know someone and eventually getting married without getting hurt or compromising their faith.At Focus on the Family, we've offered a range of resources and expert advice bringing biblical principles to bear in this area.It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse (more on that later). Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Now, please, please, please don’t be a freakish weirdo. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? Joshua Harris, for instance, has promoted a model of courtship that harkens back to a model used broadly before modern dating evolved.People attempting to follow a courtship model within today's culture, however, often run into a lot of practical questions, such as, "What if her dad is unavailable or uninterested in being involved?The system today's young men and women have inherited for finding and marrying a future spouse leaves a lot to be desired.We often hear complaints from readers about the confusion, hurt and sexual sin they've encountered despite their best intentions.A few days have gone by since the excitement and my heart is torn, I feel guilty for even dating a man who doesn’t follow Jesus.