Lovelies: Yesterday, I was talking about how awesome it was to have Jake Stein* along on the weekend trip--and also talking about how Jake and I went from being best friends to being boyfriend-and-girlfriend for a brief period.The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together ... Plus, he's very tall and quite handsome--an indubitably attractive guy (whom the ladies generally love).But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?At the same time, after considering it for a minute or two, I realized that if I give it a try, my reluctance could create a weird dynamic which could very well do serious damage to the friendship--maybe as much as a failed romance would. --because there doesn't seem to be much else to explain it.Obviously, abuse issues are a huge red flag and need to be dealt with directly.
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If your friend is in a relationship that diminishes self-esteem, rather than enhancing it, pray earnestly and look for ways to build up and encourage your friend.
Look for an open door to discuss the dating relationship and what you see that may be harmful.
A trustworthy, genuine boyfriend or girlfriend can often become your best friend.
But what if you were already best friends from the start?