I should have stopped responding, but I was physically attracted to him⎯something that didn't happen often. If you answered yes to any of these, you might need a list of polite questions you can bring along on your dates.
Prior to that, I spent five years having odd, incomprehensible, maddening, and deeply disheartening encounters like the one with Gary. Sometimes I'd get an email from someone who was exasperated by my own flaky behavior. With no agreed-upon etiquette, all of us did what we could get away with, or we emulated others. My opinion is this: If a same-sex couple is meeting for the first time, one of you should assume full financial responsibility. At first I thought we both had on the wrong outfits.
That relationship between a younger guy and an older woman is likely to be supercharged by a combination of the younger man’s peak sex drive and the older woman’s confidence, experience and her own sex drive.
There are some other compelling reasons for why older women are more attractive to younger guys.
You'll never make it with them because you don't have what they're looking for. It is amazing that even "mature" adults repeat the mistakes of the past. The number of people, men and women, who cite fundamental differences when assessing the reason for a failed marriage, has amazed me. The answer may be loneliness, and the inability to cope with it. They need someone to tell them what to wear, when to get a haircut, or buy new underwear. A man's appearance can make the statement that he respects himself. The symptoms of menopause can result from these changing hormone levels.
Let My People Go Recently, a friend had a five-hour date with a woman he'd met on J-Date. This habit, I imagine, is due to social anxiety, narcissism, or some combination. If you think you might be a Chatty Cathy or Charlie, here's a test: Do you love the interplay of bass and treble in your own voice? Did you raise your hand in third grade even before the teacher asked anything?
If you don't want hot monkey love with a particular human, you need to communicate that. That way both of us can cut our losses and move on. Zip it Up Lately a buddy told me that 70% of the men she meets online yap the entire time they're together, never attaining even basic information about her.
LTK: What groundwork did you do to prepare for this book?
Susan Kiner: I interviewed extensively for the book, not confining myself to women or to the over 60.